What “rules” do we know?


“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” 

~ Mark Twain

I have heard many times that a good person is a foolish one. Let’s look at that. How do you consider a person who is always upset or angry? He has some problems and needs a break or a therapist. But why? Everyone can be that way, everyone can argue, yell, blame others, and be aggressive. How many people may be good? All of them. All of us. We only need the courage to do it without thinking of what others do or think about our actions. However, is a foolish person a good one?  Is being nice a weakness?

We all are good people and have kindness within us, and only have to let it out without trying to prove anything to anyone. The power of being good is inside us waiting to be released from the fears prison. Through unforgiveness you make yourself able to live again and again with the same actions you lived with when being unhappy. Nobody can help you because no one can feel what you feel and how you feel. You are the only one living your life in the way you do it. You are unique, and your story is unique, too. There are not two identical stories in this world.

Why don’t we forgive?

We do not forgive because we have not been taught both the forgiveness lesson and normality of making mistakes as part of our life. Society teaches us that making mistakes means punishment in any forms they come.

What is a mistake?

It is something we have been told that is wrong. Who can say what is good and what is wrong. We cannot learn if we do not make mistakes. Actually there are not mistakes, they are a new way of learning. Any mistake is another way of learning something new, we have not known. Any mistake should be seen as a form of encouragement to move forward. It is a lesson our life teaches us. When a door is closed, we have to look for another one to be opened, but no crying in front of the one that has been closed. Any mistake could be seen as a form of learning through differences of causes and effects.

How do we treat mistakes?

Look around you and you can see how we are taught to treat any mistakes:

  • In school, a child is punished/ verbally, physically abused, punished with low grades, excluded from activities, isolated and bullied by classmates, teachers, friends, …
  • In family, a child is punished/ verbally, physically abused, isolated by his/her siblings, parents, isolated from what he/she likes the best …
  • In jobs, a person is punished/ verbally, physically abused, punished with less money, blamed by his/ her colleagues, manager, supervisor, or even fired.
  • In relationships, a person is punished/ verbally, physically abused, punished by his/ her partner … 
  • In church, a person is “punished”, by God because of the sins. It seems strange. God created all of us as His image. How could somebody destroy his creation? God is love, why are we told we will be punished by God, if we do or don’t … ?

All this punishment means fear, and fear means power for others who know that fear means – low energies, lack, suffering for those who do believe in that power and do not know what believeing in your self is.

We have laws, regulations, policies for keeping things working right, but we do not teach each others what forgiving and being good is. Who knows the best what good and/or right is? We are all created in the same way. We all are human beings. Nobody has more or less rights. We have the same birthrights. Power creates the differences, lack and suffering. We all have our inner power, but we have to take it back. We cannot do it through fear, wars, fights. Each of us has to look inside and accept and love himself as he is, loving his own self.


 What can I do?

When something had upset me, I spent time asking myself why isn’t the world a better place? But that time was JUST wasted time. So I started asking new questions: What can I do? How can I make it a better place? There is an answer to that and that usually comes as forgiveness.

 Some people begin forgiving other people before they reach their own self. Other people begin the process of forgiveness in the other way, with forgiving themselves and then forgiving others. I started forgiving others, and after a while I could forgive myself. It happened in that way for me because most of the time I was expecting too much from myself. When you fall down, you feel like you need forgiveness, and usually I was looking to my ego to ask for other’s faults. When I started forgiving me, I realized that the act of forgiving is an act of kindness for me, and it becomes an act of kindness for others because in that way I learn how to forgive the people surrounding me.

Feeling sorry for yourself you lose your inner power, stay attached to the past, go back to anxiety and depression, and continue to be a fear prisoner. Forgiving you detaches the past, let it go, and accept lessons you need to learn using any opportunities to go forward … you get to choose.

You can try to detach yourself from what happened and not let fear absorb your mind and body. You can find the quilt in your person. When you find it, forgive yourself and let yourself go free. Believing others to be guilty makes things go worse for you. If you accept that you need to correct what you have in your mind, everything else will be much easier to be done. When forgiving others you do that because YOU FEEL you have to. When forgetting the things which are behind you, you believe in yourself, following your heart, have the power to reach the things in front of you, because great things are waiting to happen in your life. So let the past be history. Forgive everybody as much as possible and you will be really free, because the pain, fear, and the negativity are released. It is replenished by positivity, by joy and happiness. Learning to forgive, you feel your compassion increasing and you reach a peace of mind.

Forgiving and loving yourself will increase your self-esteem, and that will also be mirrored in other people’s attitude around you.

The forgiveness act has its roots deep inside you. It is part of you because it is part of love, and you are love. Forgiveness is the way of love…. It is part of your happiness.

“Pray for others in such forms, with such length, importunity, and earnestness, as you use for yourself; and you will find all little, ill-natured passions die away, your heart grow great and generous, delighting in the common happiness of others, as you used only to delight in your own.” 

~ William Law

Love & Light, 


The texts are always based on my clients’ experiences and my own’s ones. I do not claim what I share to be the ultimate truth. I encourage everyone to only take what resonates to find your own truth. Permission is given to share or blog any materials as long as the text message is posted with no changes, or altered in any way and author’s credit, copyright and website links are included as the source of the messages. Thank you.