Published on: April 12, 2014
When anything weighs heavily on your heart, you may think the weight is about love. A loved one ditched you, in life or by death, and your heart is heavy. Yes, of course, you miss the loved one, and, yet, basically, your question is:
“How could you leave me?” Or, “How could God allow this to happen?”
No matter how much you loved your loved one, it is not love that asks these questions. It is not love that feels bereft. Love doesn’t get thrown for a loop when a loved one leaves. There is more going on here.
Attachment, of course, sense of loss, a sense of helplessness are going on. Feelings of attachment, loss, helplessness are not love. You feel lost. You feel that love has been lost, by will or by chance or for any reason or no reason all, and you are put out.
The physical presence may be gone, yet love is not lost. Whether you are the object of the other’s love or not, love had its day in the sunshine. I do not make little of your heartache, yet you make too much of it, as though a crime has been done, a wrongful act, a grievous error, an impossibility. Well, it is impossible for love to go away. If you had a love, you have the love still. Where have you put it?
In the case of a romance, too often the love in your heart, so long as it is requited, reigns, yet how quickly the love in your heart may turn to resentment when unrequited. This is not love at all. You feel hurt, and you may want to hurt. You will do almost anything not to have been rejected, and you may toss rejection back, yet love once given is still yours, and not to be thrown away. Love is a constant. You may not be constant. What matters is not so much what happened. What matters is what you make of the love now.
You may see the love you gave from your heart as love betrayed, and, therefore, your loved one as a betrayer. The loved one withdrew the promise of your relationship. If a loved one leaves by will, she gave what she had to give at the time. The dejection, rejection, and ejection are not about love, beloveds. The other party may no longer favor you above all, and, yet this dreadful deed — it happened to the other party who is an innocent as you. It happened. Something happened. Something changed, and the other person discovered the change and fled from it, not knowing anything else to do. She is not your possession.
We are not talking about con artists who design to take what they want and then drop you. Yet, in any case, you desired to be loved, and when that was withdrawn, you took it as a fall from grace. Your life and love are not to be dependent upon another’s view.
Love cannot go anywhere but where it is. Love is true whether human hearts are true or not.
The true state of your heart is love, love that does not require an object to fill it. Love is not forlorn all by itself. You may feel forlorn, yet that is your own doing, beloveds. Can I say it enough times? The love in your own heart is your concern. You cannot rule any other heart but your own, and, yet, often My children try to rule another’s heart as if it were their own, as if they were to rule others’ hearts as if they were unruly children.
Love coerced, demanded, insisted upon, forced, obligated to is not love. It’s a kind of usury. Love is not owed. Love is not a payment. Tap your own love, beloveds. Find that place in your heart that is Mine and give it. Give sway to the love in your own heart, and give others leeway. No one is tethered to you. In order to love, one has to be free. Free yourself from attachment.